Category Archives: 80s

Film Reviews: The Tree of Life. Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri. A Most Violent Year. First They Killed My Father. The Florida Project. The Greatest Showman. Darkest Hour. Prom Night. Coco. Insidious 4: The Last Key. The Commuter

28 Sunday Jan 2018

Posted by in 2010s, 80s, movies

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The Tree of Life

Beautiful study of life, God and existence. The film has such a slow pace and magic to it, that it almost does not feel real. It could use a little less nature pictures. In the first thirty minutes it feels like Terrance is trying to fill in the gaps to prolong screen time. He should have allocated that time to focus on Jessica Chastain, the real treasure of this film. If I ever show this movie to my family and friends, I will fast forward the long period of water, nature and dinosaurs, as it truly is not for anyone who is not artsy. I wonder what the audition for any of these characters looked like since they barely say anything. Brad Pitt’s character turns out to be a bit abusive, teaching his three sons to fight and punishing them for every small thing like laughing at the dinner table, and waking him up by closing the doors loudly. I especially liked the ‘You will stand there and close this door quietly fifty times’ punishment. Needless to say, the boys are happy when the father is away. Along the way, their school friend drowns, and Jack, the oldest son, asks God, how could he let a little boy die. We also learn the oldest boy is angry and likes to torture animals. There’s also an awkward scene where Jack takes his neighbor’s nightgown and ashamed of his first sexual desires, sends it with the river’s current. This scene could only be better, if the nightgown belonged to his mother. The film ends with Jack reconciling with his family in heaven. It’s not clear why or if Jack dies at the age of 40 something, and why his second brother, also in his 40s is in heaven too. The Tree of Life, although beautiful, is not a title you will watch more than once, because of how utterly depressed it leaves you.

8.5/10

Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri

The only way this could be even better is if we actually learned who raped and killed the daughter.

8/10

A Most Violent Year

Knowing of Jessica’s personal tragedy, I have no idea how she found the strength to film the two devastating scenes when two characters, one accidentally, point a gun at themselves. I am in awe and shock. The film itself was far more interesting than I expected it to be.

7/10

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First They Killed My Father

Another masterpiece from Angelina Jolie.

9.5/10

The Florida Project

Those kids sure were annoying and so was the mother. That did not stop this ‘project’ from turning out to be one of this year’s most impressive.

Also, get a fucking job. You have a kid and you’re selling perfumes out of a shopping bag. You could easily get a temporary job packing some products at a local warehouse, but sure be a bum.

6.5/10

The Greatest Showman

One of the best cinema experiences I’ve had.

8/10

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Darkest Hour

Dozed off about 10 times at the cinema. Churchill kept saying the same thing over and over for two hours and there was no action whatsoever.

4/10

Prom Night

I’ve had that opening scene stuck in my head for 20 years. Good to put a name to a memory. I watched the remake on the same day, and it was only half this good.

7/10

Coco

Beautiful take on Mexico’s most intriguing tradition.

8/10

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Insidious 4: The Last Key

I love the Insidious series, when I heard Spencer Locke joined the cast I was over the moon. Needless to say, I was disappointed. Sure, it was better than the third one and I cried every time Elise ran into her brother, but It lacked so much.

6/10

The Commuter

This was exciting, but all Liam Neeson centred thrillers/action films are. I am happy I went to see it at the cinema, especially because of the impressive scene where the train finally derails. If only Vera Farmiga was in more than two scenes.

7/10

 

 

 

 

 

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Goodnight Mommy. Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life. Fender Bender. Trolls. National Lampoon’s Vacation. Inside Out. Layover. A Christmas Horror Story. The Disappointments Room. Barricade. Scathing.

16 Monday Jan 2017

Posted by in 2010s, 80s, Lauren Graham, movies

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goodnight-mommymiddleschool fenderr

Goodnight Mommy

This and The Babadook are nothing as they seem. Both advertised as horror, but in fact, psychological. Beautiful scenery, eerie and mind-blowing at times. Pay attention before the opening title and you’ll have an easy understanding of the film. Ideal for fans of psychological thrillers, horrors or foreign cinema.

7/10

Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life

‘The Worst Years of My Life’ is a film about an artsy and rebellious teenager Rafe based on the Middle School book series by James Patterson. Yes, the same Patterson who wrote the Alex Cross series, including the phenomenal Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider! ‘Movie School’ is shockingly deep and insightful for a family film, I was nicely surprised by the ‘brother’ twist. I’m glad little Mason from Private Practice is doing well and it’s always a pleasure to see Lauren Graham. I have never read the Middle School series, but it seems to be the boy version of Jim Benton’s Dear Dumb Diary series, which I loved growing up. After you finish watching Middle School, go grab Dear Dumb Diary.

6/10

Fender Bender

A middle-aged guy purposely bumps into a teenager’s car. The girl (Makenzie Vega known for The Good Wife and The Assault) takes pictures of the damages and the guy. Her disappointed parents forbid her from going on a trip with them and leave her alone for the night. Despite the main character being an absolute moron, the storyline kept me engaged. Fender Bender takes a slightly different direction than the usual ‘forced road accident’ based horrors, as the attacker follows the character home. Why would she not be panicking about the assailant taking pictures of her in the shower and stupidly dive into a present he left for her, no one knows. It could have been such a good flick. I have described this title to my horror obsessed friends, and I recommend this title to all slasher fans.

6.5/10

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Trolls

Clearly aimed at an audience of 3-year-olds, who don’t need a plot to follow, just a couple of shiny, colorful, sparkly things to look at. It wasn’t clear why they remade so many classic songs instead of writing an entirely new soundtrack. Shockingly the cinema was packed when it came out, there were around 150 kids under 12 waiting with their parents in and outside the cinema, I bet 90 percent of them came out disappointed. If you’re looking for a recent animated feature worth checking out, go with Zootopia, or The Secret Life of Pets.

3/10

National Lampoon’s Vacation

‘Christmas Vacation’ was ten times better. At least this one had John Candy in it, for a couple of rollercoaster rides, but still. Uncertain how to feel about the angry dog being killed and later grandma dying, but the film as a whole was not that funny.

3/10

Inside Out

Some of the animation, particularly Joy’s character, was so bright, it was impossible to look at the screen. The film is clearly aimed at very young audience, pre-school or early school years at most. The film earned an Academy Award for best animation, which gives me hope for Zootopia, which was twice this good and the animation was ten times better.

5/10

layove  a-christmas-horror

Layover

What the hell with this poster?! This was not in the film. The movie would have been so much better if it was. For a Lifetime film, Layover wasn’t a complete disaster, even though I couldn’t stand the annoying model wannabes. Consider watching another Lauren Holly film where the film also takes place on a plane, Turbulence, instead. Was that a ride.

4/10

A Christmas Horror Story

Nicely surprised, as it was so much better than the very average 2015 Christmas horror sensation ‘Krampus’ and the ending was just perfect.

3/10

 

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The Disappointment Room

No greater disappointment than this film. How could Wentworth Miller write the genius psychological thriller The Stoker and then such a crappy horror?

1/10

Barricade

So it wasn’t a horror? What a waste of time. And it started off pretty good, the ending though, disastrous.

1/10

Scathing

I always have faith in low-budget indie horror films, and I have myself to blame for that, but once a while those are the films that surprise us. Scathing was not that film. It was just awful. I watched this Irish horror ‘In Fear’ the same day, equally low budget and independent, very similar, yet much better. Try In Fear instead.

0.5/10

The Aviator. Short Term 12. Far North. Starting Over. Hustle. He Said, She Said. Fruitvale Station. Secrets of Eden. Cyberbully.

09 Saturday Jul 2016

Posted by in 2000s, 2010s, 70s, 80s, greys anatomy, Jessica Lange, movies

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The Aviator

A beautiful portrayal of obsessive compulsive disorder. OCD characters show up extremely rarely on film, usually in one episode of a TV series. A show that went into the subject a little deeper and didn’t judge it or downplay it was Grey’s Anatomy. In season 10 one of supporting characters, Miranda Bailey developed OCD behavior for a couple of episodes, before being treated and put on medication. Back in season 2 there was a patient who had a very severe case of OCD and had to be assured everything was ‘clean, clean clean’. Most of the time if there even is an OCD character, it’s only mentioned superficially. Fortunately, in The Aviator it is perfectly shown. So realistically in fact, DiCaprio had to go to therapy himself as his own OCD amplified. Shame he didn’t get an Academy Award for his fantastic performance, I’m sure he would have won if people knew about his own struggles and how he risked his sanity to some extent. Plus his Howard Hughes performance is so much more important than his The Revenant role. Another aspect of the film that caught my attention was the focus on Hugh’s famous flying accident, that many people don’t know of or don’t remember. Every film layman has seen at least 5 Scorsese’s films, sometimes by accident, and this one comes up in those 5 most popular ones. I love how Scorsese adjusted scenography and colors with each year in colored film. Notice how blue the film seems at the beginning? More often than not Scorsese’s films lack focus on his female characters, they are added as a decoration, very stereotypical, but The Aviator ladies had just enough screen time, at times I thought they actually got a little more than expected. Cate Blanchet gave a wonderful performance as usual, and her Katherine Hepburn accent was quite delightful. One thing, which I suppose didn’t happen and was added by the scriptwriter was the last scene of Howard with Ava Gardner, portrayed by Kate Beckinsale, having a final chat with Howard and effortlessly helping him get better without realizing this saying ‘Nothing’s clean, Howard. But we do our best, right?’, which calmed even me down. The film didn’t focus on Howard Hughes the director/producer, but the aviator, which is understandable since he quit cinema for planes and later was overtaken by his disorder. If you haven’t seen the Outlaw or Hell’s Angels yet, do so.

‘You don’t care about money because you’ve always had it.’

Does that look clean to you?
Nothing’s clean, Howard. But we do our best, right?

‘You listened to my phone calls?’
‘No! Honey I would never do that! I just read the transcripts.’

I don’t want them bribed, Jack. I want it done legally. I want them bought.

‘I feel like a little adventure.’
‘Do your worst, Mr. Hughes.’

9/10

Short Term 12

How have I not heard of this film till yesterday, when I saw it expiring on Netflix ? It was simply wonderful, one of the psychological meets mental issues meets social problems films. The minute I read the description on Netflix, I had a feeling this is were the film was going. Short Term 12 tells a story of a young social worker sexually abused by her father in the past who meets a young teenager who she suspects is going through similar abuse. I absolutely loved that the medusa and shark children story the girl wrote referring to her abuse, may as well have been about the girl’s relationship with a razor. The film includes some of the most accurate quote about self harm I have seen captured on film. I highly recommend this independent masterpiece to everyone.

‘When I was your age, I had to stand in a courtroom with a bunch of strangers and tell them all the ways that he abused me. What he hit me with. How he got drunk. How he forced me to take a shower with him. Got me pregnant. I sent him to prison. I didn’t talk about it. I didn’t think about it. Until I met you.’

‘Last night, that girl sat next to me and she cried and she tried to tell me the only way that she knew how.’

‘It’s impossible to worry about anything else when there’s blood coming out of you.’

‘All fucked up now, damn near 18. All the pictures in my past ain’t never fading. I’m always wishing for something amazing but when your life is shit then it ain’t no trade in so put me in your books so you know what it’s like to live a life not knowing what a normal life’s like put a label on my head so you know what it’s like not knowing what a normal life’s like look into my eyes so you know what it’s like, look into my eyes so you know what it’s like, look into my eyes so you know what it’s like to live a life not knowing what a normal life’s like.’

‘Once upon a time, there lived a young octopus named Nina and she was very happy. But then, on Monday, the Shark showed up. “Do you want to be my friend? Just let me eat one of your arms,” said the Shark. Nina had never had a friend before, so she donated an arm to her wonderful new friend. Every day that week, Nina and the Shark would play together. And every night, Nina would give him another one of her arms to eat. On Sunday, after playing all day, the Shark told Nina that he was very hungry. “I’ve already given you six of my arms, and now you want one more?” She said.“I don’t want one. This time I want them all. Because that’s what friends are for.” When the shark finished his meal that night, he felt very sad and lonely. He missed Nina very much. So, he swam away to find another friend.’

‘I know the rules: no belts, no razors, no scissors, no fucking freedom.’

‘Grace, you are a line staff. It’s not your job to interpret tears. That’s what our trained therapists are here for.’
‘Then your trained therapists don’t know shit.’

‘Take the advice you give your kids every fucking five minutes and learn to talk about what’s going on inside your head.’

‘Please don’t be offended if I’m not very friendly, but I’m going to be living with my dad soon, and I don’t really like wasting time on short-term relationships. So, you know, it’s nothing personal.’

9/10

Far North

A lovely but monotonous film starring Jessica Lange. I am not sure why Patricia Arquette’s character was a bit on the crazy side and slutty too, but the film as a whole was satisfactory. There was this one very relatable scene where Jessica’s character talks about her rushing to move out the minute she could and not thinking about coming back home and now realizing it’s nice to have somewhere to come back to and explaining to her sister that there are worse things than raising your child in the house you grew up in.

4.5/10

Starting Over

A Burt Reynolds film you only saw if you’re a huge Burt Reynolds fan or if you were a divorcee starting over in 1979. Jill Clayburgh looked so much like Diana Keaton in this film. The second hal of the film got more romantic comedy like with Burt throwing balls and making her fall into the little basin. Are we supposed to be happy he tried to get back together with his ex-wife or are we supposed to treat it as a betrayal?’ Hight difference and sexual element?’ The storyline wasn’t special but Jill Clayburgh and Candice Bergen were both nominated for an Academy Award for their roles.

6/10

Hustle

And I thought Starting Over was weak. Without a doubt the worst film of both Burt Reynolds and Catherine Deneuve. I only liked the surprisingly tragic and somewhat random ending. If you cut out the grieving parents, you’d have a really shitty film.

3.5/10

He Said, She Said

Kevin Beacon’s character was a little too shady with not being able to decide whether he does love Elizabeth Perkins’ character enough or not, once saying she loves her and another time that she can’t marry her. I am always shocked that Elizabeth’s career did not start off after this. I am glad she finally got recognition for Weeds, but her 80s/90s films and her character on Weeds are two completely separate things. The film was a bit cheesy at times, but what romantic comedy isn’t.

6/10

Fruitvale Station

A moving biopic about the 2008 New Years Eve tragedy. This films is produced by Forest Whitaker and it stars Michael B. Jordan and Octavia Spencer. Not only was Oscar targeted as a black man, he also had to come across a dumb cop who mistook a gun for a taser. 22 is way too early to go. Thanks to Netflix for showing me this. There’s not much I need to say about this, go watch this especially now with what’s happening yet again.

‘Nooo! Don’t go. I’m scared.’
‘Scared of what?’
‘I hear guns outside.’
‘You know what, baby? Those are just firecrackers. You’ll be safe inside, with your cousin.’
‘But what about you Daddy?’
‘Me? Baby, I’ll be fine.’

‘You shot me. I got a daughter…’

‘I told him to take the train. I didn’t know they were gonna hurt my baby. I should’ve let him drive, but I wanted to keep him safe. You gotta let me hug him. Please, let me hug him. He didn’t like to be alone.’

‘Where’s daddy?’

7/10

Secrets of Eden

John Stamos as a priest, what in the world is this? No one actually suspected the priest, as it was just too obvious, so I was quite invested to see how it all came together. I don’t think I’ve seen any of these actors before other than Uncle Jesse and the Breaking Bad wife. Every once a while there’s a Lifetime film worth watching, and this isn’t it.

4/10

Cyberbully

I liked the other Cyberbully so much more. The 2010 one starring Emily Osment was filmed from the perspective of a victim of bullying and this one is about a bully being bullied. I expected something more jumpy like Unfriended or at least a better threat than a bunch of naked pictures being posted. I didn’t even know people made sites just to laugh at Youtubers for how unprepared they are, I thought It was just mean people commenting stuff on their channels, like since the dawn of the Internet. Honestly I only liked the last scene – not really a spoiler – when she yelled ‘Dad’ and you could hear him running to her. -Spoiler – I hated that we never found out who the person who did this were. Please check out the 2010 Cyberbully, it was wonderful, and skip this mediocrity.

3/10

Stockholm, Pennsylvania. The Diary of a Teenage Girl. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Reservoir Dogs. Godzilla. A Guy Thing. Boogeyman 2

06 Wednesday Jul 2016

Posted by in 2000s, 2010s, 80s, movies, the goldbergs

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Stockholm, Pennsylvania

The main character, a 22 year old girl (Saoirse Ronan) escaped her captor to end up in hands of another, this time related to her. I don’t quite get why the father abandoned her and let his wife forbid him to see his daughter when he seemed so nice at the beginning. The ending was quite dazzling, as the crazy cycle continued. It was never explained how the main character escaped, how the kidnapper got caught or if her kidnapper sexually assaulted her, surprising as it may be, I really thing he didn’t. It seemed like he just wanted to have something to raise that was fully his, but without the perversity. Cynthia Nixon’s performance was alluring, I have seen her in some dramas after the SATC series, and this was most likely her best work. Saoirse brings her usual sensitivity to the film. Stockholm is an independent film, but it  deserved similar recognition to The Room.

8/10

The Diary of a Teenage Girl

To answer the main character’s question, yes, you are the only one who thinks this much about sex. Girls tend to think a little more about it before losing their virginity, but after the fact they only share the exceptional and exceptionally bad experiences with their friends. I know it was the 70s and people had more time to waste, but not everyone was sex crazed. One of the thing I enjoyed about the film was that ‘unnatural bond’ remark Christopher Meloni’s character made, forcing the mother (Kristen Wigg) to feel uncomfortable around her daughter. I enjoyed how the mother found out, and it was the first time I enjoyed watching Kristen Wigg act, I may check out more films of hers. I didn’t like her in Bridesmaids, or the film in general, I did love the shitting/puking scene. The Diary of a Teenage Girl is a good enough film, that I’ll never get on DVD or even watch again.

‘The point is that you fucked my daughter.’

‘Just keep drawing.’

5/10

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

I needed a rewatch after watching that Ferris based The Goldbergs episode and feeling more nostalgic than usual. I skipped school 9 days a month, not a semester, so not sure what the hype is all about. The film felt much less eventful than when I watched it when I was Ferris’s age.

‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’

7/10

Reservoir Dogs

I never understood the appeal of this film. I do enjoy watching it once a decade, but I don’t get why people worship it. At least many men do. I know that women seem to hate it, but it’s not that it’s boring. It starts off interesting and then it just goes like every other gangster film, even though it isn’t even a gangster film. It’s just a bunch of guys making series of really bad decisions.

7/10

Godzilla

All I expected from this film were great special effects, and the Loch Ness monster hunt feeling, and that’s what we got. The monsters looked a little unnatural at the beginning with their metal heads, but their appearance got better throughout the film. I swear Richard T Jones plays a secondary character in half big budget action/catastrophic productions. I see him on my TV at least 3 times a year. I still don’t understand how the main character found his son. I saw more than a half of Elizabeth Olsen’s films, which I guess makes me a fan. She was fantastic in Silent House and Marcy May Marlene or whatever the order of those name was, both end up focusing on sex crimes, and I highly recommend these two.

5/10

A Guy Thing

Netflix, why don’t you stop adding crappy films? I wanted to turn it off, but then the guy caught a veneric disease and it got funny  for a second or two and then it was too late to turn it off.

3/10

Boogeyman 2

The first Boogeyman starring Emily Deschanel from Bones, made some sense, this just didn’t. Mae Whitman plays a self-harmer, there’s also a bulimic girl, an OCD guy and people with other phobias. Even if you’re into mental health films, which I am, you won’t find much about the character’s issues and they seem to unnecessarily explain every obvious aspect of their diseases which feels odd. I know when you like horror, you’re tempted to watch almost everything, but trust me, skip this one.

2.5/10

The Vanishing. A Long Way Down. The Boy. RV. Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You. Kill Your Darlings. Postman Pat: The Movie

20 Wednesday Apr 2016

Posted by in 2000s, 2010s, 80s, 90s, movies

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The Vanishing

A great thriller that everyone has to see. The ending, not as much disappointing as depressing, proves how pointless life can be. I have no clue why would Sandra Bullock’s character be so stupid to get into a car with a stranger to buy a freaking watch for her boyfriend just because she saw a picture of the stranger with his family. The girlfriend was a little absurd as well, why would you risk your life for someone you’ve met a couple months ago? The film also stars Jeff Bridges and Kiefer Sutherland. I need to watch the original soon, as I heard some interesting details that would have made this remake even better.

8/10

A Long Way Down

What a wonderful film. If not the happy ending, it would get a 10. I guess we need happy endings to remain hopeful. I may reach for the book as I wrote down so many important quotes. If you ever thought that you can’t go on or life doesn’t make any sense, trust me, this film will feel like a good friend.

9/10

The Boy

The Boy is trying to copy the whole living in the walls concept. There was this Irish horror last year called Housebound that also had a person hiding in the walls. If you want to see a good film about people living in walls, go watch Wes Craven’s masterpiece, People Under the Stairs, not these two. A true horror experience. The Boy could be so much better if only the doll actually had some spirit in it and actually moved by itself. This was just wanna be Annabelle or Chucky or that puppet from Goosebumps. The atmosphere through the first half of the film is why I’m gonna recommend this film. The biggest question of the film is, why, even, get a doll? Why pretend that’s their son? Annabelle was a mediocre film, but at least the doll moved and actually killed people, the special charm of Annabelle is the paranormal history behind the doll. Here we wait for horror to happen, and nothing. Recently I watched this other British film featuring a haunted doll called Robert based on a legend and it was creepier than this, even though it was a little worse as a whole.

6/10

RV

A partially fun comedy with Robin Williams, Cheryl Hines and JoJo. Who wouldn’t want to rent an RV and go on a road trip? Yeah, you won’t after watching this film. RV’s bathroom will make you reconsider. Other than the shitty explosion, literally, some jokes were actually good. Including Robin hanging on to wipers as the RV falls downhill. I loved the daughters relationship at the beginning when she calls him names, but they both know she loves him, as that’s exactly what life is. If you have or had this kind of relationship with your dad (I don’t see how it would work with mom) than congrats, cause that’s love and I’m lucky to have that. If you’re a real fan of either family films or Robin Williams, watch it, if not, you’re get bored and start screaming cheesy halfway through.

4/10

The Great Outdoors

Hmm so Annette Benning did crappy films like this one in the late 80s? That’s interesting. If you’ve been following this blog, you know that family films from the late 80s/90s are my jam. This one isn’t. When I saw this title was going to expire soon on Netflix, I didn’t think twice when I saw John Candy’s name listed in the cast? I loved Uncle Buck and John Candy seemed like one of the most approachable and nice people, so I was excited to get into it. 10 minutes in and I was already disappointed. Not as much as with another John Candy film I watched about two weeks later, Summer Rental. Now that was a tragedy. Reminded me of that film with Boy Scouts and that villain from Home Alone. It must be the woods. It was not very good, if you can, skip it.

4/10

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You

The title! Just amazing. You’d give it a chance too, if you heard these words. The main character was a little annoying at times, but I enjoyed it as a whole as it was relatable at many parts. Existentialism is essential to all teenagers turning adults. Without it life would be incomplete. Not sure why he made a prank on his boss, that seemed a little off. There were a few smaller plots that required skipping to better the film, but it is what it is, and it’s not that bad.

6/10

Kill Your Darlings

No one told me Michael C. Hall aka Dexter or David Fisher is in it, as I would have seen it ages ago. I get that Daniel Radcliffe’s character was gay, but the pointless sex scene, which played at the same time as an important character was being killed was simply rude. Also, the film didn’t need that sex scene, but hey, whatever sells. Nothing is implied anymore. It’s important to remember that is to some extent a biography of these important writers.

7/10

Postman Pat: The Movie

Postman Pat is a children series from my childhood. The film more or less massacred the memory. After watching this, I realized that half of Pat’s charm was that it wasn’t an animation, but dolls. Did Pat have a son in the original series? I don’t remember. Most of the characters that played an important role in the series were only shown from the distance and never had any dialogue. While there were tons of new characters no one wanted to get to know. Was there such a big post office in the series? With a few postmen? I thought it was just Pat. Guys, do you remember the episode where there was a blizzard and Pat could not deliver the mail cause it has snowed in that badly? I still remember how he was trying to get through the snow even though I haven’t seen the show in over 16 years. And here, it just randomly came to mind. There were some parts that were fun, but the whole Pat’s clones/The X Factor/Simon Cowell thing was a huge no. And that unfortunately was the whole film. I am very glad that Postman Pat was a part of my early childhood, but I’m also glad the film wasn’t.

3/10

Uncle Buck. Circle. The Intern. Taken: The Search for Sophie Parker. Love the Coopers

26 Friday Feb 2016

Posted by in 2010s, 80s, movies

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The next post will be added in about 28 hours, because…it’s Fuller House release day! I took Friday off just so I could reminisce about my childhood! It’s all I’ve been talking about for the last 10 months. I will post all the remaining tv show reviews on Sat and Sunday since I still have some from January.

Uncle Buck

If you’ve been following this blog, or read the intro above, you know I’m a huge fan of 90s family films. Uncle Buck was one of the two John Hughes films I haven’t seen and now I only have one left. It casually popped up on Netflix. I think I didn’t find it before because it categorized under ‘comedy’ not ‘family’. Uncle Buck was funny and it’s one of these films I wish I could watch for the first time once again. I recommend it to all family film lovers out there who miss their childhoods just as much as I do.

‘I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I’m coming looking for you!’

‘Ever hear of a ritual killing?’

‘We can talk about burying the hatchet. You know what a hatchet is, don’t you, Bug? I got one in my car if you’d like to see it. I like to carry it, you never know when you’re going to need it. A situation may come up say for example, someone has been drinking, and about to drive a loved one home… then I’d like to know I have it.

‘What do you do for a living?
Lots of things.
Where’s your office?
I don’t have one.
How come?
I don’t need one.
Where’s your wife?
Don’t have one.
How come?
It’s a long story.
You have kids?
No I don’t.
How come?
It’s an even longer story.
Are you my dad’s brother?
What’s your record for consecutive questions asked?
38.
I’m your dad’s brother alright.’

‘His name is Bug.
‘First or last?
‘First!
‘What’s his last name, Spray?’

‘Stand me up today and tomorrow I’ll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas and walk you to your first class. 4:00 okay?’

‘You know, I have a friend who works at the crime lab at the police station. I could give him your toothbrush and he could run a test on it. To see if you actually brushed your teeth or just ran your toothbrush under the faucet.’

‘How would you like to spend the next several nights wondering if your crazy, out-of-work, bum uncle will shave your head while you sleep? See you in the car.’

‘Get used on your parents’ time.’

‘Why was your uncle micro waving your socks?
He can’t get the goddamn washing machine to work.’

‘I’m sorry.’
‘Hey, come on. Nothing to be sorry about. I’m just glad I got a chance to know you again.’

7/10

Circle

Thriller and puzzle film of the year. 50 people are put in one room and they have to eliminate 49 people, so only one survives. Half of them want to save the pregnant lady, or the child, and other half want to save themselves. I haven’t seen a thriller this good in a long time. You’d think the most recognized actor would be the one who wins, but she’s not! It was smart and kept me interested till the end.

9/10

The Intern

It shows you some important differences between our generation and our parents’, maybe grandparents’ for some of you. I wish this kind of internship for my dad and any person in their 60s and early 70s, Robert’s character is 70. Teaching these young kids respect and learning how to work with the computer in the process. Robert’s character is extremely likable as he’s always smiling and being nice to everybody and you literally feel like he’s your wiser and older friend. I saw the trailer when I went to see Ricki and the Flash with a friend, and we laughed about how awful this film looks. I recall saying something like ‘what is this, The Devil Wears Prada 2? My friend burst with laugh. My friend is more ‘judgy’ you could say, while I am more sarcastic in a wryly way. Deep inside I knew I’d see this film, because I do try to watch everything Robert de Niro is in. Even if it’s The Big Wedding or some other romantic comedy. My ‘judgy’ friend watches all of his dramas and skips romantic comedies and such. The Intern was sweet and funny, and I guess that’s all it was supposed to be. It did feel like The Devil Wears Prada 2 and that’s okay too. I guess sometimes, you need to postpone watching another drama for another night, and allow yourself to watch a light, sweet film and The Intern is the one to watch.

‘Here’s my theory about this. We all grew up during the “take your daughter to work day” thing, right? So we were always told we could be anything, do anything. And I think guys got, maybe not left behind, but not quite as nurtured, you know? I mean, like, we were the generation of “you go, girl.”We had Oprah. And I wonder sometimes how guys fit in, you know? They still seem to be trying to figure it out. They’re still dressing like little boys. They’re still playing video games. Well, they’ve gotten great. How, in one generation, have men gone from guys like Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford to… take Ben, here. A dying breed. You know? Look and learn, boys. Because if you ask me, this is what cool is.’

‘You know what would be good? If you carried a handkerchief.’

6/10

Taken: The Search for Sophie Parker

It tells a story of an FBI agent, who’s daughter goes on a trip to Moscow and is kidnapped along with her friend. There are a few films that cover sex trafficking and this one does feels like a Taken wannabe, you just have a female FBI agent, played by Julie Benz, instead of Liam Neeson. It’s and interesting take and is worth seeing. Also what kind of a moron would kidnap a daughter of the head of US Embassy?

7/10

Love the Coopers

It’s getting ridiculous how many romantic comedies Diane Keaton has been in. I have never been a fan of hers, but she has over 20 of them. I’m not even mentioning other comedies non-romantic like Mad Money. This is probably the first Olivia Wilde film that I liked her in. I loved her storyline and Melissa Tomei’s too. The voice of the dog is Steve Martin, you guys, I’m telling you this now, as you’d be distracted trying to figure out how do you know this voice. I thought it was Steve for a second, and then I convinced they wouldn’t ask him to voice over a dog in some average Christmas film. And they did. It wasn’t nearly as good as The Family Stone, but it wasn’t awful either. Look out for that little girl saying ‘You’re such a dick’, it’s hilarious.

4/10

Driving Miss Daisy. Bad Santa. The Pacifier. Apollo 13. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2. Because I said so. Kon-Tiki. The Hand that Rocks the Cradle. The Clearing. Sweet November. Plots with a View. Lucky 13.

28 Friday Aug 2015

Posted by in 2000s, 2010s, 80s, 90s, Lauren Graham, movies, Naomi Watts

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Very quick reviews, as I owe you so many of them.

Driving Miss Daisy

A magical experience, everyone needs to encounter.

10/10

Bad Santa

Hands down the best Christmas film. Very dirty. My kind of humor.

I’m on my fucking lunch break, okay!?

8/10

The Pacifier

Cute kids films I’ve seen when it came out.

6.5/10

Apollo 13

A great film, yet lacking something.

9/10

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

A girly film I have always had on dvd, yet always pushed it away. You know middle school, whatever girly, may kill you. My mom liked it much more than I did.

5/10

The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2

Worse than the first one, my mom still liked it more than anything else.

4/10

Because I said so

The last scene with the cake falling on the pedestrian’s head is worth seeing the whole film.

3/10

Kon-Tiki

The scenery is everything in this film.

7/10

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

Surprisingly well done.

8/10

The Clearing

Average.

6/10

Sweet November

What a mess.

3/10

Plots with a View

Funny, very British in a good way.

5/10

Lucky 13

If this was supposed to be sweet, it was not.

1.5/10

Hope Floats. American Reunion. Independence Day. Parental Guidance. Yours, mine and ours. Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th Remake. It Follows

21 Thursday May 2015

Posted by in 2000s, 2010s, 80s, 90s, Ellen Pompeo, movies

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Hope Floats

Mae Whitman’s performance and her character’s storyline was what made it a film worth viewing. Without the daughter storyline, the film would be half as good. I loved how she set her mind on her father wanting to take her with him. I loved how she wouldn’t let go and kept putting her suitcases into the car, and how the father did not want her. I was surprised when someone else died, when they spent a few scenes on us getting to know the father. The kid telling her mother’s bachelerotte to leave her alone as her daddy was coming back for her and her couldn’t behave at the funeral and running to him just when the priest stopped speaking, was essence of the film. The girl getting beat up by the overweight girl for wearing glasses and accidentaly hitting her with a volleyball at P.E. and her cousin telling her mother that she lived, where necessary for the film. This was favorite performance by Mae after Parenthod, and she really should have gotten her part in Independence Day 2 and we all know it. I also was surprised how well the scenes where Bertie’s high school friends reacted to her public somewhat humiliation. They were all snarky and happy she wasn’t a prom queen anymore. Getting this on DVD for sure.

‘I know that I’m not what I once was. I know that! But I haven’t changed so much, that I would go and lie to someone that I love. God, I would walk through fire before I’d let them feel like they were nothing! And I would never break up anybody’s home. Because I am not a quitter. I care about my family!’

‘Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That’s what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it’s the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.’

8/10

Independence Day

Good enough, especially for a sci-fi film, yet lacked something. I enjoyed the cathastrophic and postapocalypic element of it, and yet it just did not seem real if you can say that about a scifi film. I hated that the one character I routed for did not make it. I loved that Mary’s character did not make it and a little Mae Whitman asked the Serpent and the Rainbow character if ‘Mommy’s sleeping now’. I watched a little of V and I love Contact, and adored Interstellar this year, yet I can’t quite swallow why was this one such a hit in the 90s and why do they want to make another one. But then, maybe I’ll never get alien movies, and that’s okay, I suppose. You can’t like them all.

7/10

American Reunion

I recently tried to watch Band Camp, the first part of American Pie that did not include the original cast, except Eugene Levy and it sucked so bad, I turned it off after 20 minutes. The original four though, are incredible. The reunion brought tears to my eyes, because it’s been 13 years from the first, we saw them all grown up, but not at all changed. There were parts I did not find quite as funny as the first two, but my favorite was when they got into a fight with the high school boys, and Michele went all get away from my husband, you shithead, and when Stiffler shamelessly shat into a guy’s portable refregirator. I hated that Fincher did not get together with Stifler’s mom or that Jim’s mom was dead. At least Stifler got back at Fincher by sleeping with his mom. When they walked into that reunion all in line, just like in high school, I cried. I need another part. They promised to see each other every year, as it looked like they haven’t really stayed in touch, at least not with Stifler.

6/10

Parental Guidance

I had it on DVD along with my new copy of Cheaper By The Dozen. I now have three Cheaper by the Dozen DVDs, and needlesly to say, It was not half as good as the latter. It was half as good as the CBtD sequel though. The one funny thing about this show was the scene at the customs were Bill Crystal’s character’s says ‘Let me make that easier for you as the customs guard was growping him, and then he coughed. A cute family film, you won’t probably watch again, unless you have it on DVD.

4.5/10

Yours, mine and ours

I am not gonna lie, and admitt it took me three tries to finish this film. That’s how boring it is. I am always down to watch new family films, but I should have just skipped this one. It lacked a major conflict, and the plot was neither funny nor interesting. The kids lack personalities the Bakers had in Cheaper By the Dozen.

2.5/10

Friday the 13th

I remembered so little from the remake that I decided to watch it, and along with it, the genius original. The original is almost as good as Halloween and is definitely one of five best horror films made. And man, does year ’79 look good, or what? Simple life, and those people have no idea what’s coming. I have never been a fan of the 21st century, and my country was in a real bad shape in the 70s and 80s, so I find 70s and 80s country side/small town films fascinating. It’s like I’m watching Moonlight Mile and feel like being the town’s only post office worker would actually be enough for me. It’s one of the films I watch a few times a year. Now going back to Friday the 13th, I always adored that the hitchiker gets killed before getting to the camp, and that they don’t show us the killer till the very end. I don’t remember my reaction once they showed out almost a decade ago when I watched it for the very first time. I wish they played it on TV, it’s unbelievable how hard it is to come across a 70s or 80s film anymore. Television stations should really understand that just because something is new does not mean it’s good and you really should not play it over and over again. Friday the 13th, if I hear they’re playing you on tv, I’ll tell every one to watch, because you are a real treat not only for horror fans. I am planning to rewatch the second, third and fourth part this month as I miss the simplicity of horror films.

10/10

Friday the 13th Remake

Not truly a remake, as this is just another killing, and the blondie from the original did not kill the lady in the woods, but over the pond. I hate how people try to present something in a new way, where they really just shouldn’t. Why was the summer house located so close to the Camp Blood? 20 years after the original deaths from 1958, town’s people are freaking out when they here the kids want to go there. They must have heard about the killings from over the years, and yet, no one warns them. Well, just one lady, but she doesn’t really warn them, she just tells the main boy to let Jason be. Now, Jason keeps one of the girls locked up as she looks like his mother. And he ties her up, yet listens to what she says in the end. Why would he tie her up then. I don’t know why kids think they can just take someone’s stuff. You are really brining it on yourself. Why was Danielle Panabaker listed as the first on in the credits, if she didn’t make it to the end?

5.5/10

It Follows

Everyone who says this is special, has not seen enough horror films. I have seen over 300 horror films in my life through classics, independent and crappy low budget ones, and let me tell you this was not good. Tension? Barely. Other that that, nothing special. We have seen kids screwing to get rid of a curse not once. I see all the similarities to at least ten films of the genre, I hear you when you say you tried to hire a Catherine Deneuve from Repulsion lookalike. But Repulsion is a masterpiece this could never be. And you did not cast a Deneuve lookalike, you casted a Gwen Stefani lookalike and that’s perfectly fine. But since when can you shoot a ghost? A mediocre film, and a slight disapointment.

4.5/10