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st2 momanddad savannah smiles

The Strangers 2: Prey at Night

I’m really disappointed they didn’t use the ‘I Think We’re Alone Now’ song from the trailer, it really is perfect for this. The sequel was alright, but it wasn’t worth waiting 10 years for. Back in 2008 what hit me the most was the eeriness of the answer to the question: ‘Why are you doing this?’ ‘Because you were home’. The sequel did not have any moments like that nor did it know how to create tension. But if you’re into slashers, you’ll like it despite its flaws.

6.5/10

Mom and Dad

Refreshing! Modern horror needs more new ideas, as at this point it’s all heavily recycled. My local cinema showed the trailer for this for 2 months before every single film and then they chose not to show the film at all.

8/10

Savannah Smiles

It has the ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ vibe to it, so I’m all for it. This summer I’m planning to watch every Bridgette Andersen film I can find.

‘She fell out of the car.’
‘Should I call a doctor?’
‘No no no, she’s used to it.’

6/10

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Ghoulies

If you never really liked Gremlins, you will certainly not like this.

2.5/10

The Trails of Cate McCall

I love courtroom dramas, and this was surprisingly interesting!

7/10

The Night Before

I did laugh when the baby said ‘fuck you’, so I guess the film could have been worse.

4/10

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My Girl

They just don’t make family films like this anymore.

10/10

Father Figures

The only thing I actually enjoyed was one of the brothers’ obsession with SVU and Mariska Hargitay.

3/10

Aurora Teagarden Mysteries: Last Scene Alive

Bruce Dawson (John), one of the original members of the Real Murders Club is no longer doing these? Aurora Teagarden films suddenly got… dreadful.

1/10

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Fat Girl

I was warned about the ending… and yet I wasn’t ready.

9/10

Picnic at Hanging Rock

This miniseries is an intriguing interpretation that tries to explain what happened to the missing girls from the book/film by adding new storylines.

7.5/10

Sherlock Gnomes

Another example of where trailer is better than the film itself. They didn’t use the scene where Sherlock accidentaly breaks one of the gnomes while saying he’s there to protect them, and then Juliet says ‘Like the one you just broke’ and the broken gnome asks ‘Who’s broken?, checks his hat and says ‘Holy fertilizer’. There was this little four year old girl one row behind me who screamed ‘Oh no!’ twice and when one of the gnomes fell and we heard it break, she asked her mom what happened and the mother had to explain the concept of death to her. Eavesdropping on how she struggled not to hurt her feelings or scare her was more entertaining than the film. The only good thing is that animation got better than in the first one, face expressions were clearly more natural.

4/10

sisters the rachels breaking in

Sisters

It wasn’t funny enough, but these two lines certainly were:

‘They can’t fucking roll in here like Jehovah’s Witesses!’

‘Take you dick out of the paint!’
‘Nooo, I’m gonna draw something!’

4/10

The Rachels

Lifetime keeps redoing the same story over and over and they will never make it right.

3/10

Breaking In

Panic Room wannabe.

6/10

 

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