Film Reviews: Punch-Drunk Love. A Star is Born. A Simple Favor. 3 Generations. Winged Creatures. The House with A Clock in its Walls. Mom’s Day Away. Mad City. We Bought a Zoo. Conrad & Michelle: If Words Could Kill. The Unborn

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

pdl asib

Punch-Drunk Love

Paul Thomas Anderson’s most uplifting film that I love just as much as pudding.

8/10

A Star is Born

They should not have put that nose scene in, seeing as this is what it looks like after a nose job. I’ve only seen the 1976 version of this film, the one with Barbara Streisand, but I really want to watch the 1954 one with Judy Garland and the original from 1937. This one was unnecessary and it certainly felt like it.

6/10

asf 3g fr

A Simple Favor

Anna Kendrick has been playing the same awkward character since Up in the Air. I was probably the only person in the audience who hasn’t seen Gossip Girl. Not that I’m planning to. A Simple Favor is more of a comedy than a mystery thriller, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

6/10

3 Generations

This felt like a draft of a first act, not a full film. Ever since Thelma and Louise, no one can’t convince me Susan Sarandon is not gay.

‘My whole life I’ve searched my body for scars because I know a part of me is missing. Everyone assumes that who I am is connected to who they thought I was when I was born. They’re wrong.’

‘Having sex with women doesn’t mean you’re open-minded, it just means you’re happy.’

4/10

Winged Creatures

Very much like Crash, but not trying to be about race.

6/10

HWACIIW mda mc

The House with A Clock in its Walls

What a nice lullaby. I slept through most of it, as there was absolutely nothing happening till the last 15 minutes.

3/10

Mom’s Day Away

My parents have been telling me about this Hallmark film for the last couple of months after someone recommended it to them and we finally got to watch it today. It was not as good as they made it out to be.

3/10

Mad City

The ending made it good.

6/10

wbaz cnm unb

We Bought a Zoo

I’m currently on holiday with my family, which means I’m watching some feel-good romcoms. I was surprised to see Matt Damon in a family film. My two favorite moments were my dad’s reaction to seeing Daisy Wick from Bones randomly pop up and me explaining to my mom who the heck Elle Fanning is.

4/10

Conrad & Michelle: If Words Could Kill

I remember reading transcripts of Michelle’s texts with 4 of her friends and I am disappointed Lifetime only chose to show two of those friends. I distinctively remember reading something about a male friend who was trying to get with her, to whom she replied she had a suicidal boyfriend, another friend who she didn’t know well, to whom she wrote that she loves new friendships, and I guess the two that were pictured in this film. To some of them she wrote panicky messages about Conrad’s family trying to locate him and to others that he phoned her from the car and didn’t say anything. The night after Conrad’s death, a few minutes after 7pm she texted the 4 friends the exact same copy-paste message pretending she just learned about his death. I was also disappointed Lifetime skipped a text she sent a few days before his death where she asked Conrad whether he had deleted their messages from his phone. Lifetime failed to draw conclusion as to what Michelle’s motive was, something that’s been bothering me for the last three years. Lifetime focused more on her eating disorder, even claimed Conrad mentioned it in his last texts. They portrayed her as a needy person desperate for friends and attention. Lifetime did not mention anything about her popular side, including her trip to Disneyland or her senior prom. I guess I still hoped that what drove Michelle to convince Conrad to take his own life was severe depression, but this film conviced me that her mental problems were fake and she is an actual psychopath.

4/10

The Unborn

I watch Shameless and The Middle, so that’s my excuse for giving this ridiculous film a go, as usually creepy kids make average horrors appealing. If you don’t know the answer to the lead’s question ‘Why now?’ at the beginning of the film, then you’ll probably enjoy this horror.

2/10

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Film Reviews: Bad Girls. At Middleton. Parenthood. Face 2 Face. Ocean’s 8. The Lodgers

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

poster-780 atmdlt prth

Bad Girls

Madeleine Stowe kicks ass, while the other three wait around and disappoint.

8/10

At Middleton

Beautiful film about emotional adultery, something that most experience at least once in their lifetime.

8/10

Parenthood

The ‘They’re hurting my sister’ scene, the ‘if she’s so brilliant, how come she’s sitting in our neighbor’s car’ line and the sight of little Bryce Dallas Howard in the audience never fail. Also this is a great base for the tv series of the same name that I loved so much.

8/10

face2face iioc the lodg

Face 2 Face

You can guess what the disturbing secret is early on, but the way they revealed it was amazingly more sinister than I thought It would be seeing how cheerful this film was up till that point.

‘You called me back from the party, because you thought I was lonely or something and then suddenly I had one friend and that was enough’

8/10

Ocean’s 8

It’s flawed but still fun. I rewatched it with someone who hated it and it ruined the whole film for me.

6/10

The Lodgers

I would buy this story if the 6 generations before didn’t look exactly like the twins.

4/10

 

Film Reviews: Sharp Objects. Phenomena. The Meg. Swimming with Men. The Bookshop. Passengers. Garage Sale Mysteries: The Mask Murder. Garage Sale Mysteries: The Pandora’s Box Murders. Megan Leavey. Maus. Blair Witch. Planetarium. Minor Details. The Last Sharknado

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

shrpobjc pnm

Sharp Objects

Absolutely brilliant! Now I need to finish the book!

9.5/10

Phenomena

Very good until they borrowed something from Friday the 13th.

8/10

the meg swm bks

The Meg

3D really worked here – tell me you didn’t close your eyes when the water-walking ball popped! Bought the ticket last week, but caught a stomach bug, bought another one over the weekend, but was asked to work an extra shift tomorrow. Bought the third ticket at the cinema today and finally got to see it. It was worth it, even with the extra 6 quid. About to watch something similar, yet so much worse… Sharknado 6.

7/10

Swimming with Men

I have never realized how much Rob Brydon reminds me of Christopher Waltz till watching this film. I am so happy I was able to swap my overtime shift and got to see this charming and uplifting story about an unexpected friendship at the Silver Screen today!

‘The first rule of swim club, don’t talk about swim club.’

7/10

The Bookshop

It’s sad that I’m always the only person under 60 that goes to senior screenings, when that’s the only time they show quality cinema and not some mainstream bullshit.

‘Understanding makes the mind lazy.’

‘How right she was when she said that no one ever feels alone in a bookshop.’

6/10

psng gsm gsmm

Passengers

Many seem to be complaining about the way one of the characters gets woken up, but honestly, ruining someone’s life not to feel lonely is what most adulterous relationships are all about.

6/10

Garage Sale Mysteries: The Mask Murder

The 14th installment of the Garage Sale Mystery series is quite entertaining. It’s been a while since Jen actually went to a garage sale. I checked the death masks online, and the replicas truly are worth 250 dollars each. Do some art connoisseurs really buy replicas of dead people’s faces?

‘This mask, it looks like the girl I found today.’

5/10

Garage Sale Mysteries: The Pandora’s Box Murders

Lochlyn Munro joins Lori Loughlin (get it?) in the 13th installment of one of two Hallmark series I really enjoy.

4/10

nl maus bw

Megan Leavey

Good, but the dog in ‘Max’ wore a tiny bullet-proof vest, so this could be better.

‘You don’t leave because you have somewhere to go, you leave because nothing is keeping you there.’

5/10

Maus

You need basic knowledge of the Bosnian War to understand and appreciate this film.

5/10

Blair Witch

I remember how obsessed I was with Blair Witch back in the day, I did this presentation for English and everything. I didn’t like the sequel though. I tried to watch the second sequel in 2016, but the minute I heard the main character was supposed to be the original main character’s brother, I rolled my eyes and turned it off. I expected the film to be much worse, but the footage is so shaky, it will give you a headache.

4/10

pl  md sh

Planetarium

Hugely disappointed with this one.

3/10

Minor Details

Middle School was a long time ago, but I don’t remember it being that boring.

2/10

The Last Sharknado

Certainly happy it’s ‘the last’ sharknado. The only thing I liked about this franchise was the theme song, but guess what, they changed it.

‘There it is, the first Sharknado. I’m gonna need a bigger chainsaw.’

1/10

 

 

Film Reviews: Nymphomaniac: Vol. 1. Searching. The Nun. The Two Jakes. The Spy Who Dumped Me. The Happytime Murders. I, Daniel Blake. Christopher Robin. Mother. Slender Man. One Week and a Day. Moka

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

ympp searching the nun

Nymphomaniac: Vol. 1

I remember watching Antichrist at the cinema and absolutely loving it (minus the mutilation part) and everyone from my class thinking I was ‘so fucked up’ for even watching it. It’s despicable that I’ve been deliberately avoiding watching Nymphomaniac for five years. Volume one was amazing and not as explicit as I thought It would be, but I have a feeling I will not be so fond of Volume two. Some of my favorite scenes include Uma Thurman completely losing it and taking her children to see daddy’s mistress and the ‘whoring’ bed. Lars von Tier adds female masturbation to most of his film including child awakenings. Recently I watched Manderlay and there’s this beautiful passage when the narrator says that the main character did not understand masturbation is bad till she grew up and realized how ‘morally wrong it was’.

‘Perhaps the only difference between me and other people was that I’ve always demanded more from the sunset; more spectacular colors when the sun hit the horizon. That’s perhaps my only sin.’

‘The secret ingredient to sex is love.’

‘Would it be alright if I show the children the whoring bed? After all, they also have a stake in this event.’

8/10

Searching

This film was a nice surprise! Debra Messing did such a wonderful job and the film kept me intrigued, the ending may have ruined it a little bit.

‘I didn’t know her. I didn’t know my daughter.’

7.5/10

The Nun

I still cannot believe James Wan cast Vera Farmiga’s little sister Taissa (known for her roles in American Horror Story) in the Conjuring world! I also loved the link between The Nun and the first Conjuring and that they used footage from both Conjuring films. I especially liked the scene where someone gets buried alive.

‘Next time do use the shotgun.’

7.5/10

twojakes swdmj hptm

The Two Jakes

I don’t remember Chinatown being this exhausting. There was no action in the sequel, other than, not one, but two earthquakes. Thank God for Madeleine Stowe.

4/10

The Spy Who Dumped Me

Kate McKinnon was amazing in this!

6/10

The Happytime Murders

They replaced Sandra Bullock with a puppet and made The Heat 2 but with muppets fucking? Wtf

2.5/10

idaniel crr mother

I, Daniel Blake

Realest portrayal of life in the UK I’ve seen in years.

‘I am not a client, a customer, nor a service user. “I am not a shirker, a scrounger, a beggar, nor a thief. “I’m not a National Insurance Number or blip on a screen. “I paid my dues, never a penny short, and proud to do so. “I don’t tug the forelock, but look my neighbour in the eye and help him if I can. “I don’t accept or seek charity. “My name is Daniel Blake. I am a man, not a dog. “As such, I demand my rights. “I demand you treat me with respect. “I, Daniel Blake, am a citizen, “nothing more and nothing less.’

‘We should all be drinking a lot more bloody coffee.’

8/10

Christopher Robin

I live for nostalgic films, so It does not come as a surprise that I cried through the entire ninety minutes. They were handing out character postcards at my cinema and they are just as adorable as this film.

‘I’ve cracked.’
‘Oh, I don’t see any cracks. A few wrinkles, maybe.’

‘People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.’

‘Doing nothing often leads to the very best kind of something.’

‘I haven’t thought about them in years.’
‘Well, we think about you every day.’

8/10

Mother

This heart whelming comedy starring Debbie Reynolds is the 400th new film I watched this year.

6/10

 owaad moka sm

One Week and a Day

Brilliant film on coping with loss.

8/10

Moka

Simple but good.

6/10

Slender Man

What sort of teachers take their high school students on a trip to a cemetery in the middle of nowhere? I cannot believe I just spent 2 hours watching this garbage. Plus Annalise Basso, the little girl from Oculus was only in the first 3 scenes, what a waste.

1/10

Film Reviews: The Village. On Chesil Beach. Anomalisa. Jurassic Park 3. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation. The Fog

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

the village nches anomalisa

The Village

Roger Ebert gave The Village 1 star mostly based on the disappointing plot twist. And yes, the plot twist sort of ruins it, but it’s still a great film.

8/10

On Chesil Beach

Surprised to learn that Ian McEvan wrote the screenplay for the film adaptation of his own book and even more surprised that he decided to change the ending a little bit. On Chesil Beach is a beautiful and intriguing portrayal of asexuality and I recommend you all see it.

7/10

Anomalisa

I can’t believe I almost missed this gem, and because of work, of all things.

8/10

jrw jw jrjj

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

The scene where all the dinosaurs are running away from the lava and two characters fall into the water in that bowl thing and can’t get out is awesome in 3D. I am glad I chose to rewatch it in 3D and I wish I saw the previous part in 3D as well.

6/10

jurassic park hotee thefog

Jurassic Park 3

How is this better than Julianne Moore on the cracking windshield in Jurassic Park 2?

4/10

Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation

The depressing thing about Hotel Transylvania 3 is kids nowadays not knowing what Macarena is. We all hated it and yet we all knew the dance and it was the ultimate party and summer song of the 90s. It was nice to see it resurface 25 years later in this film. After the screening, I nicked an A3 poster they were handing out to kids. This was the weakest of the trilogy, with the second one being the most entertaining. This was also the 6th time this week I heard a Beach Boys song used on the screen. 5th one was the new season of OITNB.

5/10

The Fog

I laughed when the priest said ‘You really should get off the island’ to Maggie Grace, who was on Lost and never made it off the island. She died back in season two. Anyway, this is a shitty remake of one of John Carpenter’s classics.

2/10

 

Film Reviews: Hereditary. Nosedive. What Dreams May Come. Skyscraper. This Property is Condemned. Foo Fighters Sonic Highways. Hereafter. Blackbeard. The Pit and the Pendulum. The First Purge. Lady in the Water. The Forest

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

hered bryceno what dreams may come

Hereditary

The trailer was creepy, and the film was intense, but not scary. I wasn’t sure what I was going into, but from the moment of the car incident I was mesmerised. Really odd to see Toni Collette in a horror film, but she did a fantastic job as always. Second favorite horror this year after A Quiet Place.

8/10

Nosedive

I don’t watch Black Mirror, the only other episode I’ve seen is the one Jodie Foster directed starring the girl from Puberty Blues, and maybe I should catch up. I haven’t posted anything regularly on social media since 2016, but this episode felt oddly realistic even to me. It’s becoming more and more common to be asked about your social media following at job interviews especially for jobs or internships in journalism, sales or anything that has to do with creativity, and that is scary. Two years ago I applied for a job as a critic/reviewer and was told they liked my work and qualifications but they were looking for someone with ‘great social media game’ and thousands of followers so they can promote their company. 21st century is great, but all this social media bullshit is distroying any normality that is left.

9/10

What Dreams May Come

This was exceptionally painful to watch now, after Robin’s suicide, as the entire film focuses on afterlife. If this wasn’t eerie or familiar enough, shortly after his death, his wife commits suicide and ends up in hell. Robin’s character decides to go find her. I liked this version of hell. There is this one beautiful scene where Robin needs to get from point a to b without stomping on heads of the burried condemmed souls.

5.5/10

skyscrper this property is condemned sonic highways

Skyscraper

The trailer for Ant-Man and the Wasp had more 3D effects than this entire film, but I am still happy I got to see this in 3D. I don’t know what is it about The Rock that makes many of his action/disaster/adventure films entertaining, but I had a lot of fun watching this. I hope Neve Campbell can finally reinstate her 90s career after resurfacing for this supporting role.

7/10

This Property is Condemmed

My dad was helping me move furniture yesterday and since he raised me on movies, once we were done, he asked what film I was going to watch. He was intrigued as he had never seen Wood and Redford in a movie together, so he asked to watch it with me. The film wasn’t groundbreaking, but we weren’t disappointed either.

7//10

Foo Fighters: Sonic Highways

I’ve always been a huge fan of Foo Fighters and Sonic Highways was the last album of theirs I really liked. Towards my film degree I took a 50s-80s Popular Music elective class and absolutely loved it because of all the music history I got to learn and hundreads of artist I got to listen to. This series was in big part the very opposite because of its lenght, as it went into too much detail and felt more like homework I didn’t need. I should have watched an episode a week instead of seeing it in a bulk, and maybe then I would have enjoyed it more.

6/10

hereafter blackk pit

Hereafter

The only interesting plot was dropped halfway through the film, following a devastating reveal.

3.5/10

Blackbeard

More action than in the entire Pirates of the Caribbean franchise! And… it has Jessica Chastain in it!

7/10

The Pit and the Pendulum

I used to be obsessed with Edgar Allan Poe when I was a teenager and this adaptation is incredible.

4/10

 lady tfp forest

Lady in the Water

God, that was bad.

2/10

The First Purge

I love the Purge series, but this one is clearly the weakest.

4/10

The Forest

I just don’t understand why they had to remake the awesome tv horror Grave Halloween and turn it into this pile of shit.

2/10

 

Film Reviews: Hotel Artemis. Fantastic Mr. Fox. Incredibles 2. Teen Witch. Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again. How to Beat the High Cost of Living. The Mercy. Bao. Meet Joe Black. Beef. Without a Paddle

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

hotel artemis mrfox incred

Hotel Artemis

It’s been five years since Jodie Foster’s last role. I remember being highly disappointed with Elysium and after watching the trailer for Hotel Artemis, I didn’t expect much either. I was surprised to actually find myself engaged in this action-packed thriller and I feel satisfied enough after watching it too. I hope we get to see Jodie back on the big screen before 2023. I haven’t tagged any entries with Jodie’s name since Money Monster, so that was nice too.

8/10

Fantastic Mr. Fox

Needless to say, foxes have always been my favorite animals and Fantastic Mr. Fox is amazing!

8/10

Incredibles 2

The most incredible aspect of Incredibles 2 was hearing Craig T. Nelson and Holly Hunter reprise their voice roles from 14 years ago. I haven’t seen Incredibles since 2004, but I still remember how fun it was and the sequel was equally entertaining. I was bummed about missing all the 3D screenings at my local cinema, but now I feel like the 2D version was enough excitement for one day.

8/10

teen witch mamma ht

Teen Witch

I’m really happy she wasn’t slaying any demons or vampires or whatever. The minute we learn the character’s goal is to get a guy, I immediately lose interest. Every single time. It’s hard to enjoy the ‘Tap That’ rap, after the first song about how ‘girls like boys’.

4/10

Mamma Mia 2: Here We Go Again

They listened to everyone’s complaints about Meryl Streep’s poor singing skills and replaced her with Lily James until the last two scenes. Here We Go Again is a one woman show with Lily James performing 80% of all the songs. A guy in front of me sang every single song and the cinema was packed. The girl who played Christine Baranski’s younger version was fantastic! The film wasn’t special, but I still had a great time!

7.5/10

How to Beat the High Cost of Living

Finally watched the film that inspired my favorite new show of the year – Good Girls.

‘All I ever remember mom telling me was how much she loved you and that she would never look at another man. Of course she never did mention another woman.’

7/10

mercy mar meet joe

The Mercy

I didn’t know anything about Crowhurst prior to watching the film and sadly, the film’s intentions weren’t clear enough and this simple storyline was hard to follow at times. I saw this at senior screening and the minute the film ended and the first caption appeared, all 30 seniors gasped. This is how confusing the film was.

6/10

Marrowbone

I didn’t expect the last act to be that good, but my favorite part was when they played The Beach Boys.

7/10

Meet Joe Black

I can’t believe I wasted 3 hours watching this… and I have it on DVD too!

2.5/10

beef wap bao

Beef

This proves I will watch any shit for Christopher Meloni. Three of the films I watched today either had The Beach Boys song or reference in them, it must be summer.

4/10

Without a Padle

PG-13 version of Deliverance?

1.5/10

Bao

They played it before Incredibles 2 and there was this one particular moment when worried adults gasped, little kids burst in tears and all teenagers laughed.

7/10

 

 

 

 

Film Reviews: Empire Falls. The Core. Our Guys: Outrage at Glen Ridge. Home Sweet Hell

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

Empire Falls

A very interesting, wonderfully done small town film. There is a school shooting, a mom driving off with the car door open while her daughter is still getting her backpack out. If you want to see the small town-feel we all love, watch this film!

8/10

The Core

Every good sci-fi film has one of the characters dying, and they either mention the importance of their family beforehand or beg the main character to tell the family they love them. The core did it best and it’s devastating.

‘I came here to save my wife and my two children and… seven billion lives… it’s too much. I just hope I’m, I’m smart enough and brave enough to save three.’

5/10

Our Guys: Outrage at Glen Ridge

If you follow highly publicised sex crimes, then you have heard of this story. It’s a heartbreaking story of a clique of jocks who decide to take advantage of a handycapped classmate. If I remember the story correctly, the girl was not just violated with the foreign objects, like the film suggests, but also raped by the guys. When I think of this film, I think of Nell, and the scene where a bunch of local men trick Nell into lifting her blouse and Liam Nesson’s character has to escort her out of the bar. If you watched Welcome to the Dollhouse, you will love this too.

6.5/10

Home Sweet Hell

My personal favorite is the scene where Katherine’s character puts eye drops in before going to bed. For someone who uses eye drops at least six times a day, it is nice to finally see someone using eye drops on film for reasons other than to hide that they’re high or in between flights. The tiny bits of obsessive compulsive disorder are nice to watch too. Overall, the film does not disappoint as long as you’re not expecting a masterpiece.

5/10